Some Corn for Dinner

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From Yogi Berra:

• .Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin'.
• You give a hundred percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough, in the second half you give what's left.
• Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore, it's too crowded.
• Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.
• You can observe a lot by watching.
• A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
• It's deja vu all over again.
• If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
• I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o'clock to four.
• Hey Yogi, what time is it? You mean now?

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And on communication:

Bud and Millie, an older couple, lived out in a rural area, and didn't make it into town very often. One day his wife obtained a copy of a ladies' magazine that touted the benefits of taking a milk bath. She decided this was just what she needed to make her feel beautiful, and sent her husband to a neighboring dairy farm to purchase the milk. When he arrived, Bud told the dairy farmer that he wanted to purchase enough milk for his wife to take a milk bath. The dairy farmer asked, "Do you want the milk pasteurized?" "No," replied Bud, "just up to her neck will do just fine."

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