A Little Murder

Kids are GREAT ... for ALL kinds of reasons. One mom reports:

One Sunday evening while my husband was away, I was sitting in church with my two boys, ages 2 and 4. I didn't expect that they would listen to very much; I was just content that they were quiet. When the Scripture in Matthew 5:22 "anyone who hates his brother will be guilty of murder" was read, I heard the small worried voice of my 4-year-old say, "Uh-oh."

-- Linda Eberly

A Kid's Take on Love

What kids think it means to truly love someone:

• Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way.
• When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's love.
• Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
• Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad, but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings.
• Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.
• If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
• There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them.
• Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've known each other so well.

Again, I'd like to add one of my own: Love is getting to be the pastor of a congregation like Marion United Methodist Church!!!!! WG

Reasons to Praise

One writer gives us not just food, but an entire meal, for thought:

I am thankful:

• For the wife who says it's hot dogs tonight because she's home with me and not out with someone else.
• For the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato because he's home with me and not out at the bars.
• For the teenager who's complaining about doing dishes because it means she's at home, not on the streets.
• For the taxes I pay because it means I'm employed.
• For the mess to clean up after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
• For the clothes that fit a little too snugly because it means I have enough to eat.
• For my shadow that watches me work because it means I'm out in the sunshine.
• For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
• For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech.
• For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I'm capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.
• For my huge heating bill because it means I am warm.
• For the woman behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.
• For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.
• For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.
• For the alarm that goes off in the early-morning hours because it means I'm alive.
• For the crazy people I work with because they make work interesting and fun.
• And finally, for too much e-mail because I have friends who are thinking of me.

And if I could add one to the list: I'm thankful even when we here at church move through a time of grief together, because it means we can feel, and love, and care, and support, and know God's presence when the pain seems unbearable. WG

Gratitude?

I liked this story, and it just might give you an idea if you never hear back from gift recipients.

One Christmas, Mom decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result, their grandmother, never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandmother told a friend triumphantly.
"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?"
"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks."

A Man of Few Words

Says Stephen Fried: They say Eskimos have a hundred words for snow. But that's nothing. Husbands have one word that can mean at least a hundred things.
That word is uh-huh.
It's a simple five-letter word that has led to more marital four-letter words than any other. Wives know that if their husbands could, they probably would respond "uh-huh" to every sentence spoken to them. And because "uh-huh" can basically be defined as any variant of "yes," "maybe," or "are you talking to me?" wives never know what we really mean.
I'm thinking this could be why the law always insisted that, at weddings, we come right out and clearly say, "I do."


Fellows, does your style of communicating give the lie to Mr. Fried's observation? I hope so! WG

The Joys of Committee Work

Oh, give me a pity, I'm on a committee,
Which means that from morning to night,
We attend and amend and contend and defend
Without a conclusion in sight.

We confer and concur, we defer and demur
And reiterate all of our thoughts.
We revise the agenda with frequent addenda
And consider a load of reports.

We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose
And the points of procedure are fun!
But though various notions are brought up as motions
There's terribly little gets done.

We resolve and absolve, but never dissolve
Since it's out of the question for us.
What a shattering pity to end our committee,
Where else could we make such a fuss?
...............................................-- Phong Ngo

A committee defined: A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. But it all sounds great in a campaign speech.

-- Richard Long Harkness

.

To get something done, a committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

-- Robert Copeland

.

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

-- David Coblit

.

A committee is the perfect weapon to kill time.

Thoughts on CHURCH

The problem is not that the churches are filled with empty pews but that the pews are filled with empty people.

-- Charlie Shedd

.

The church is the great lost-and-found department.

-- Robert Short

.

Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.

-- G. K. Chesterton

.

And here's another word from Chesterton: The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.

Hung Up on Prestige

A Coast Guard cutter tuned in to a faint distress signal from a sinking pleasure craft. "What is your position? Repeat, what is your position?" shouted the radio operator into the microphone.
Finally, a faint reply crackled over the static, "I'm executive vice president of First Global Bank. Please hurry!"

Good for a Chuckle

In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- THINK! The next day, when he went to the restroom, he noticed that right below his sign, next to the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign that read THOAP!

You just never know how literal-minded folks will be when you try to communicate something!

Little Ears

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said!