Marion United Methodist Church

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Marion, Kentucky, United States
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous............. -- Will Rogers

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Another Approach to Aging


No Nursing Home for Me
(Author Unknown)

.....A few months ago some friends noticed an elderly lady always sitting alone on a Princess Liner. All the staff seemed to wait on her constantly. We finally decided to chat with her. "We understand you have been on the last five cruise trips!" "Oh, yes! You see, it's like this: Luxury Cruise Ships average $150.00 a day, nursing homes are more than $200 a day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I get a long term discount and senior discount for $135.oo a day. That leaves $65.oo a day for gratuities, which will only be $10.00 a day.

.....I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have breakfast in bed; Princess has three swimming pools, work out room, free washers and dryers, good shows every night, free razors, soap, shampoo and toothpaste. They treat you as a customer, not a patient. And an extra $5.00 tip will have the entire staff at your beck and call. I will meet new people every 7-14 days. TV broken? Light bulb needed? New mattress needed? No problem! They FIX everything, and apologize for your inconvenience. Clean sheets and towels every day. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on Medicare with possibly no one to care. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess Ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life if you promise not to sue them. If you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Alaska, Australia ... just NAME where you want to go. Princess or some other cruise liner will always have a ship ready for you. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore-to-ship.

.....P.S. Don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side, no extra charge!
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