- The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
- To prevent sagging skin, eat till the wrinkles fill out.
- Laughing stock is really just a cow with a sense of humor.
- You can't have everything ... where would you put it?
- If the shoe fits ... get another one just like it.
- If it ain't broke ... you don't live in a house with kids!
And I hope you parents of college freshmen don't have the experience of the family whose son came home at Thanksgiving with a semester's worth of dirty laundry. Soon after stepping into the laundry room, he shouted to his mom, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
She called out, "It depends. What does it say on your shirt?"
"Tennessee!"
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