Heaven Rejoices!

Imogene Stout "went on to glory," as she was so fond of saying, about 5 p.m. Saturday, April 4, 2009. I'd teased her before that she couldn't go, because my calendar was full ... I didn't want such a joyful, laughing spirit to leave us. But she had to keep this appointment, and Imogene, I will "clear" my calendar for you. The Bible says "the kingdom of heaven is like a party," so I know you'll fit right in, and you'll be right beside the Lord preparing a place for us. Our sadness is heaven's joy, but we're coming! We're coming! See you soon!

WG <><

.

Scout Sunday a Great Experience!

The Presentation of Colors

Scouts lead the Pledge of Allegiance,

and declare their Scout Oath and Promise.

Jake Urbanowski talks to the kids about working together


Matthew Dunham does an excellent job with his
first reading of Scripture in a public worship service.

Other Scouts led various acts of worship, and a special word of recognition was given to the scouts who were instrumental in saving the lives of an elderly couple who had nearly succumbed to carbon monoxide poisoning during the 2009 Ice Storm. Way to go, guys! And thanks for sharing the Lord's Day with us! Come again -- SOON and OFTEN!

A MUST-see Video: Watch to the End!!

May the Resurrection Joy of Easter ring in YOUR heart, too!

WG <><

Annual Conference and New Appointments

.

The pastor walked into the pet shop and told the clerk, "I'd like to order 50 mice, 2000 cockroaches, and all those little silverfish bugs you can get." The clerk, astounded, said, "Well, it'll take a bit, but I believe we can get those for you. But, if I may ask, why do you want these things?" To which the pastor replied, "I'm moving to a new church, and the trustees told me to leave the parsonage exactly the way I found it!"

And then there was the pastor who, thinking to upgrade the bathrooms at the church, decided to install hot air hand dryers. Things were working great, but two weeks later, he took them out. When asked why he'd take out something that had been such a nice addition to the church, he said, "Well, I walked in one day and saw a sign taped to the dryer -- 'Press button for a sample of next week's sermon!' "

.

On Fund Raising

...The church secretary answered the phone, and the caller rather boisterously asked, "Is the head hog at the trough there?"
...The secretary said, "Please sir, do not refer to our pastor as the head hog at the trough. That's quite disrespectful."
..."Oh, I'm very sorry. I meant nothing by that. It's just a local phrase we use in the part of the country I come from. The real reason I called was to donate $100,000 to your building fund."
...To which the secretary promptly replied, "Hold on, sir. I see the 'Big Oinker' coming through the door right now."

I agree -- call me anything you like, just call me to supper, ... or to come collect a check! LOL)

Just for Fun

And

..
Some general rules for life:

Advise your children to get you quality gifts. After all, they don't want to inherit junk.

Beware of bargains in life belts, parachutes, and heart transplants.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; if you aren't home by then, you're in trouble!

Never hire an electrician with no eyebrows.

Be suspicious if your car mechanic has clean fingernails.

If lightning strikes, make sure you're walking next to a tall person.

If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you.

A few more funny thoughts...

The length of a minute depends entirely on what side of the bathroom door you are.

You may be nobody's fool now, but don't worry ... someone will adopt you.

A key ring is a handy little device that enables you to lose ALL your keys at once.

If the NASA scientists are all so smart, why do they count backwards?

It takes two mystery writers to change a light bulb ... one to screw it almost all the way in, and a second to give it a surprise twist at the end.

If a shepherd takes care of sheep, does a coward take care of cows?

If these aren't funny enough, please feel free to post your own in the comment section!!
.

Of All the Things I've Lost ...

.

.....The newspaper employee answered the phone only to hear an irate customer demanding an explanation for why her Sunday paper had not yet arrived on her doorstep.
....."Ma'am," said the employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."
.....There was a long pause at the other end of the line, and then he heard the lady mutter, "Well! So that's why no one was at church today."

.