On Being Green

After the crinkly, noisy sermon of 5-23-2010 (the new Sun Chip bags are extremely noisy), I thought I might as well offer some other observations on conservation and planetary health.

An energy-conservation fanatic is on his deathbed surrounded by his family. He asks, "Is my wife here?" She replies, "Yes, I'm here, Dear." He asks, "Are my children here?" They reply, "Yes, we're here, Father." He asks, "Are my grandchildren and neighbors here?" They all say, "Yes, we're here!" Then he lifts himself out of bed and points out the door. "Well, if everyone's here, why are the lights and television on in the living room?"

An energy-savvy consumer replaced all the windows in her house. She had expensive, double-insulated, energy-efficient windows installed. Twelve months later, she received a call from the contractor, who complained that the work had been done for a year, but she had failed to pay for it. She quickly replied, "The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves!"