Guilty Cookies -- A Fable

.One day, a shopper at the local outlet mall felt the need for a coffee break. So she bought herself a little bag of cookies and put them in her shopping bag.

She then go in line for coffee, found a place to sit at one of the crowded tables, and then, taking the lid off her coffee and taking out a magazine, she began to sip her coffee and read.

Across the table from her a man sat reading a newspaper. After a minute or two, she reached out and took a cookie. As she did, the man seated across the table reached out and took one, too. This totally surprised her, but she smiled and didn't say anything.

A few moments later she took another cookie. Once again the man did so, too. Now was a bit irritated. He should get his own cookies and not presume upon her good nature.

After having a couple sips of coffee, she once again took another cookies. So did the gentleman seated across. Now she was upset -- especially since now only one cookie remained. Apparently the man also realized that only one cookie was left. Before she could say anything, he took it, broke it in half, offered half to her, and proceeded to eat the other half himself. Then he smiled at her and, putting the paper under his arm, rose and walked off.

Was she steamed! Her coffee break ruined, already thinking ahead of how she would tell this offense to her family, she folded her magazine, opened her shopping bag ... and there discovered her own unopened bag of cookies.

Funny (of a different sort)

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You've probably seen this, but as my forgetful friend says, "It bears repeating!"
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• Funny how tiring it is to serve God for one hour, but how quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball.
• Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church are, but how short they are when watching a movie.
• Funny how we can't thing of anything to say when we pray, but how easy it is to chat with a friend.
• Funny how thrilled we get when a baseball game goes extra innings, but we complain when a sermon is longer than usual.
• Funny how we want a front seat at a game or concert but scramable to get a back seat at church.
• Funny how we need a two- or three-week notice to fit a church event into our schedule, but can adjust our schedule at the last minute for other events.
• Funny how big $100 looks when you take it to church, but it's so small at the mall.
• Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a best seller.
• Funny how hard it is for people to learn a simple plan of salvation, but how simple it is for the same people to understand and repeat gossip.
• Funny how we believe what the newspaper says, but question what the Bible says.

-- World's Greatest Collection of Church Jokes, Paul M. Miller, ed.

Funny Bits (hopefully)

• Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
• Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
• Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
• If you upset your wife, she nags you. But if you upset her even more, you get the silent treatment.
• The man's wife made him join a bridge club. He jumps off next Tuesday.
• "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect!"

And then there was the elderly Floridian who called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into. She was hysterical as she explained her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher urged her to remain calm, that an officer was on the way.

A few minutes later, the officer radioed in. "Disregard," he said. "She got in the back seat by mistake."

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Acting Like A Christian

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A certain Christian man lived in the southern part of China and was a rice farmer. His farm was located in the middle of a hill. In time of drought he used a water wheel, worked manually by a treadmill, to life water from an irrigation stream into his field.

His neighbor had two fields below his. One night this neighbor made a breach in the retaining bank and drained off all the water from the Christian's field into his two fields. When the Christian noticed the breach he repaired it and filled his field again. This happened three more times.

Finally he consulted some of Christian friends and told them what he suspected his neighbor of doing. He said to them, "I've tried to be patient, but is it right to continue to be quiet about this?"

After they had prayed together about it, one of them said, "If we only try to do the right thing, then surely we are poor Christians. We have to do something more than that which is right."

The troubled Christian took these words to heart. The next morning, instead of repairing the breach once again, he first filled his neighbor's two fields and then in the afternoon he filled his own field.

After that, the water stayed in his field. His neighbor was so amazed at his actions that he began to inquire the reason and in time he, too, became a Christian.

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The Covenant Cup -- sound familiar?

Rabbi Zola Levitt, a Messianic Jew [one who accepts Jesus as Messiah] from Israel, tells the story of the Covenant Cup, one that symbolizes the commitment God gives to us and seeks from us.

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Levitt tells of the Jewish tradition of a young man and his father going to the home of a young woman to whom he hoped to become engaged. When the father and son arrived, they would negotiate the price of marriage with the young woman's father.

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After a deal was reached, the young man would enter the adjoining room where he would be alone with the young woman. He would take his family's Covenant Cup, fill it with wine, and place it before the young woman with these words: "I set my covenant Cup before you, it is my blood, Take and drink this cup, and seal this covenant to be mine."

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The young woman had two choices: take the cup and drink, thus sealing the covenant with the young man, or refuse the cup and wait for another groom. If the woman took the cup and sealed the covenant, the young man would next report in a voice loud enough for the fathers in the next room to hear him: "I go now to prepare a place for you, and if I go and preapare a place for you I will come again and receive you to myself, so that where I am you may be also."

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This engagement ritual was a ritual of commitment. Through the Covenant Cup, the young man promised to marry the girl, promised to prepare a place for her, and promised to return for her at a later time. The young woman promised to wait, to be faithful, and to marry the young man upon his return.

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Don't you hear echoes of this in Jesus' words to His bride, the church? What could we call the cup at the Last Supper, but a Covenant Cup? "This is my blood ... a new covenant." His promises to go and prepare a place for us, and a promise to return for us. He speaks in Covenant language, in marriage language, in commitment language. How wonderful!

I have no doubt that Jesus will be faithful to His promises. But notice the promise of the young woman in the tradition -- she promised to waith and BE FAITHFUL. While Jesus Christ will doubtless be faithful to us, have we, the church, been as faithful to Him?

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A Little Help, Revisited

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In the highlands of Scotland, sheep will often wander off into the rocks and get into places that they can't get out of. The grass on these mountains is very sweet and the sheep like it, and they will jump down 10 or 12 feet, and then they can't jump back again, and the shepherd hears them bleating in distress.

They may be there for days, until they have eaten all the grass. The shepherd will wait until they are so faint they cannot stand, and then they will put a rope around them, and he will go over and pull the sheep up out of the jaws of death.

Why doesn't the shepherd go down there when the sheep first get there? "Because," replied one shepherd, "they are so very foolish they would dash right over the precipice and be killed if they did!"

Moral: Too often it's only when we give up trying to "go it alone" that we're ready to receive some help.

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A Little Help?

While this story is about a police officer and not a soldier, I love the message in both picture and story that "I'm here to help!"

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It seems that while taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, a policeman was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," he answered, and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," he told her. "Well then," she said as she extended her foot toward him, "would you please tie my shoe?"

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